The “Sicky” Feeling in My Stomach
This article was originally published as a part of the series titled “Just A Thought”
Rod Cooper is our Dean of Faculty. Two years ago he gave a gripping devotion at our annual Faculty Conference.
Rod’s dad committed suicide when Rod was in college and left a note that basically said, “Don’t worry, son. God will take care of you.” Rod said, “Why should I believe God will take care of me? He couldn’t take care of my dad.”
As a result, Rod’s motto for many years became, “Trust God, and have a great back up plan.”
When I first heard Rod say this, I decided to put myself in a position that I have no back up plan. And, frankly, I’ve had this “sicky” feeling ever since.
Then a few months ago I was reading Bruce Wilkinson’s book, The Prayer of Jabez, pages 45-47, and something clicked into place. Bruce said that when his ministry began to take off, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was inadequate for the job. A mentor told him, “Son, that feeling you are running from is called dependence. It means you’re walking with the Lord Jesus. Actually, the second you’re not feeling dependent is the second you’ve backed away from truly living faith.”
I’m still processing this, but I have found it liberating. The “sicky” feeling is still there, but now I understand it differently. Before I thought it meant I “lacked” faith. Now I see the feeling is a “side effect” of faith.
I have no plan except Jesus. I don’t have a back up plan. If Christianity isn’t true, I’m going down.
But, if I’m reading my Bible correctly, “Trust God” is the only plan I need: “Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence as clear as the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun” (Psalm 37:5-6).
Have you ever had a back up plan that bailed you out, anyway? Truth is, we are inadequate for the job. I am dependent upon Jesus. You know, I’m actually starting to like this feeling. Here comes the sun. It is nearly noon.
© 2002 Patrick M. Morley. All rights reserved. This article may be reproduced for any non-commercial use with proper attribution.