I Just Don’t Feel Like Praying
This article was originally published as a part of the series titled “Just A Thought”
I usually pray with my wife in the morning before I go to the office. But for the last several days I have resisted it. Then this morning, even though I didn’t feel like it, we prayed together.
Why do we resist praying, even when we know it’s the best thing to do? My problem is not that I think God is not answering my prayers. My problem is that I’m sure He is. I just don’t like the answers. Every man has felt this.
So why resist? For me, not praying is a form of passive-aggressive behavior. What do I mean? To not pray is a way of (subconsciously?) trying to “get back at God” or “get even with God” for not doing what we wanted Him to do. Of course, it does neither. It only prolongs the agony.
Why do we do this? No doubt we think it is less than Christian to feel this way, so we suppress it-except that it comes out anyway in passive-aggressive behavior.
When we sense we are “shutting down” and closing God out, it would be good for us to honestly say to God, “You know, I’m really angry with You about this right now” (or hurt by, disappointed by, frustrated with, scared of, confused, doubtful of, or whatever). Believe me, he can take it-and you certainly are not going to say anything He hasn’t heard millions of times before.
The reason I prayed with my wife this morning was that I was ready to stop sulking in the pointless self-pity of passive-aggressive behavior. Like Jonah, I was ready to stop running from God and repent. Frankly, I need Him. Even if I don’t like the answers.
Just a thought,