25 Ways To Connect With Your Pastor
- Don’t ask him to lunch to tell him how much you love and appreciate him (just tell him or, better, send him a hand written note. Respect time as his most limited resource).
- Don’t offer constructive criticism until you have earned the right (ten praises before you even come close to qualifying for one constructive comment).
- Don’t criticize your pastor behind his back. If you like what’s going on, tell your friends. If you don’t like what’s going on, tell him (but refer to previous “don’t”).
- Don’t expect him to be Chuck Swindoll.
- Don’t put pressure on him to put resources into your program. Instead, just start discipling men and, as your ministry grows, tell or send your pastor success stories. Results first, then support follows in its proper order.
- Don’t be angry with him for only being human.
- Don’t put pressure on him that will strain his health, marriage, children, or finances.
- Think of something very specific he does well (e.g., what he says when baptizing), and write him a note telling him what a good job he is doing in that area.
- Invite your neighbors to church and introduce them to your pastor after the service.
- Tell your pastor you are praying for him (and then do it). If you are close enough to him, ask him if he has any specific prayer requests.
- Always speak well of your pastor (little birds inevitably chirp when you say bad things).
- Always defend your pastor (principle: “I stick up for my friends”).
- Ask your pastor what his goals are and how you can help him.
- Volunteer to serve in the church.
- Babysit for your pastor so he and his wife can go out on a date.
- Find out his favorite restaurant and give him a gift certificate for he and his wife to go out alone.
- Volunteer to start a small group to disciple some of the men in the church (or just do it).
- Ask his opinion about what discipleship materials you should use.
- Make sure he receives a good salary and has a funded retirement plan.
- Be a balanced and Godly man, husband, and father yourself (a blessing rather that a burden to your pastor).
- Be in a small group.
- Pray with your own wife (this will reduce your pastor’s counseling load).
- Read your Bible every day (Fill up with the Word of God and it can’t help but overflow in ways visible to others but probably not to you).
- Take your children to Sunday school (Godly children are a blessing in any church).
If you want to connect with your pastor, the overarching idea is don’t put demands on him. Instead, help him accomplish his mission. In that way, you will be part of his ministry instead of the object of his ministry.
Together in the Battle for Men’s Souls,