Why (Some) Pastors Hate Men’s Ministry: Reason #2
Last time I wrote, “A lot of pastors love men’s ministry, but most don’t — some even hate it. That’s not to say that pastors don’t want to see men become disciples — they do. But pastors quickly realize that men’s ‘only’ ministry has the potential to reach but a small fraction of the men in the church.”
And that was reason #1 — “A separate men’s only ministry will only ever reach a small fraction of the men in the church.” To plan that way is a fatal design flaw.
Reason #2 why (some) pastors hate men’s ministry? — “Trampling on the pastor’s feelings.”
No one wants to be made to feel like they’re stupid or don’t care. Yet zealous laymen routinely bruise their pastors. They make it sound like they’re the first ones who ever thought about discipling the men of the church. Of course, that’s absurd. That’s why most pastors got into the pastoring business — so they could shepherd a flock and grow a church.
Start with the assumption that your pastor would love to see your men become disciples, but just needs some lay support. Here are some do’s and don’ts:
- DO approach your pastor humbly
- DO ask your pastor, “What is your vision for men’s discipleship in our church, and how can I help you?”
- DO offer to pray for your pastor on a regular basis
- DO purchase a copy of Pastoring Men for your pastor and a copy of No Man Left Behindfor yourself
- DON’T act like you’re the first one (or only) one that cares about men’s discipleship in the church — that’s just not true
If your pastor has a bad taste about previous attempts at men’s ministry, you just might be the one who turns it around through humility, love, and a servant’s heart.
Yours for changed lives,
Patrick Morley, Ph.D.