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Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28
When we decide to obey God's biblical mandates, He usually changes our hearts through a process of repentance. That means we admit that we can be willful and peevish people. We like to have our own way, and we entangle ourselves in power struggles, even with (or perhaps especially with) our wives. We want to be served rather than to serve. We haven't loved our wives in the way that God desires.
If you find yourself in that place, let godly sorrow flow into your heart. Prostrate yourself, literally or figuratively, before a Holy God and tell Him, "I've been seeking happiness, but from now on, what will really count in my life is obeying Your commands." Then, if you really want to move from survival to success in your marriage, I challenge you to consider what it means to love your wife and give yourself up for her. How can you serve your wife?
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to serve my wife for about a month as she recovered from ankle surgery. For years I had watched her involvement in so many details of life. I had admired her, certainly. But when I got up close and personal, I gained such a deep appreciation for her.
Serve your wife. It might make you perfectly unhappy for a little while, but I believe you will gain a rich reward. You'll find yourself in a place of joyful marriage that really is what God wants for you. You don't find happiness by pursuing happiness. I've proven by experience what the Bible has always promised. You find happiness by obeying God's commands.
List three ways in which you can serve your wife within the next week. Ask another man to hold you accountable. Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 2:22-9:27, John 5:24-6:42, Psalm 106:1-48, Proverbs 14:30-35