Marriage: 70 Things Every Man Needs to Know
Excerpted from Pastoring Men, Moody Publishers.
Of all the problems we watch men wrestle with at Man in the Mirror, the marriage issue alone is bigger than all of the other problems combined. For most men, their marriage is not working the way God intended. Most men simply have not fully grasped their role as the spiritual leader of their homes.
Ephesians 5:25 offers the principal instruction to married men, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.” Tell your men that if they want a biblical marriage, they need to understand how Christ loved the church.
Many men mistake “Christ” for Jesus’ last name. Of course, Christ is not a name but a title for Jesus that means “Messiah” or “anointed one.” In the Old Testament there were many types of anointed ones. In the New Testament, as we shall see, husbands became anointed ones.
Jesus loved the church as its “Christ, or anointed one.” Since husbands are to love their wives in the same way as the “anointed one” loved the church, they need to know exactly what Jesus was anointed to do.
Christ occupies the classic, threefold office of prophet, priest, and king:
1. The role of a prophet. A prophet represents God to people. In the Old Testament
a prophet would face the people and speak. Jesus was a prophet who spoke the Word of God to the people and was, in fact, the Word incarnate. A prophet speaks for God.
A husband is to be the family prophet. He represents God to his wife (and by extension to his family). When his wife reacts emotionally, he calms her with his wisdom. He proclaims the gospel of faith to his family. He provides biblical instruction and training to his wife and children without becoming legalistic. He prepares family devotions and encourages private devotions. He is the arbiter of family values. He insists on regular church attendance. He is a messengerfrom God to his family.
2. The role of a priest. If a prophet represents God to people, then a priest represents people to God. In the Old Testament a priest would turn his back to the people and mediate for them before God. Jesus is the High Priest who mediated between people and the Father by the sacrifice of His life. A priest mediates before God.
A husband is to be the family priest. He represents his wife and children to God. He spends time in prayer each day remembering the needs and concerns of his wife. He prays for the salvation of his children. Like Job, he asks the Lord to forgive the sins of his children. He sets the spiritual temperature in the home. He is a mediator to God for his family.
3. The role of a king. A king takes responsibility for the welfare of his people. He provides both justice and mercy to his people. Jesus is a king from the line of David. A king provides for his people.
A husband is to be the family king. He provides for the needs of his family. He works diligently to earn enough for food and shelter. He administers discipline with fairness. He quickly forgives and overlooks offenses. He acts in a manner worthy of receiving honor. He treats his wife with consideration and respect. He is careful not to be harsh with her. He is a provider for his family.
Husbands are to be the anointed spiritual leaders of their wives. Tell your men: “God has anointed you to lead your wife as her prophet, priest, and king. Because of the fall, your wife has a desire for you that borders on disease (see the topic “The Fall” for more details). You must be gentle and wise because she is more fragile than you. It is God’s will for your marriage to work. Give her a voice in the marriage. After God, but before all others, make your mate your priority.”
For More: Go to www.pastoringmen.com and click on “43. Marriage” to:
- Find Devotions for Couples from which this is excerpted, and The Marriage Prayer by Patrick Morley and David Delk.
- Watch or hear four messages:
- “Surviving a Marital Crisis” in the A Man’s Guide to Inevitables Event series.
- “The Crucified Husband” in the Family and the Man in the Mirror series.
- “Restoring a Broken Marriage” in The Husband in the Mirror series.
- “Wives: How to be Happily Married” in The Man in the Mirror Remix series. Also, see The Husband in the Mirror series with twelve messages.
Also, can you imagine what would happen if every married person in your church prayed for their spouse every day? The Marriage Prayer Challenge is a simple strategy to help make that happen. Find free tools and resources at www.themarriageprayer.org.
Yours for changed lives,
#424 © 2011. Patrick Morley. All rights reserved. This article may be reproduced
for non-commercial ministry purposes with proper attribution.