Editor’s note: Ryan Reeves and Brett Clemmer recently sat down to talk about the Cornell case. Watch their conversation here. Brett has some additional thoughts to share about manhood and the kind of men we’re called to be as followers of Christ.
One of the worst four-word phrases in the Bible is in Genesis 3. When the serpent deceives Eve, the text says she ate the fruit “and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate” (Genesis 3:6, ESV). Adam was right there. He watched it happen, said nothing, and then joined in.
I thought about that phrase when I read about what is alleged to have happened at Cornell. A former student says that in 2024 she was drugged and sexually assaulted by members of a fraternity, as many as seven of them, on a single night. The courts will sort out the legal questions. But most of the public argument has been about consent. (A notable exception from the Harvard Crimson) Could she give it? Did she? Were drugs involved?
As I told Ryan when we talked through the case, I think that’s the wrong argument. Or at least it’s not the most important one.
Set aside, for a moment, the Christian teaching on sex outside of marriage. Just ask how one of God’s image-bearers should treat another. As men, one of our jobs is to protect people who are weaker or more vulnerable than we are. We know this intuitively. Women and children go on the lifeboats first. You push someone out of the way of an oncoming car and take the hit yourself. Nobody has to teach us that.
So when a man walks into a room and finds a young woman impaired by drugs or alcohol, and someone says, “Oh, she wants this,” the answer should be simple: “I don’t care if she does. It’s wrong.” And then he shouldn’t just walk away. He should step in and protect her. Even if she were in her right mind, it still wouldn’t be something any man should think is OK. If someone consents to you hurting them, that doesn’t mean you should hurt them.
If I could say one thing to the men involved, it would be this: whatever happens legally, you weren’t men that night. You behaved like children, and you behaved like predators. What happened in that house was not an assertion of manhood. It was a mockery of it.
I was in a fraternity in college, and it was a great benefit to me. I loved having brothers. I had guys who looked out for me and tried to instill real values in me. That’s what brotherhood is supposed to be. Every fraternity, and every group of men, ought to be saying to its newest members: there are standards for how we treat each other and how we treat women. We don’t take advantage of anyone. We call each other out. We protect people who are vulnerable, and we protect each other from decisions we’ll regret for the rest of our lives.
That should be even more true for Christian men. We’re not immune to sin, but we have been given a different design for brotherhood. Scripture tells us to “exhort one another every day … that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13, ESV). We confess our sins to one another (James 5:16). We treat “younger women as sisters, in all purity” (1 Timothy 5:2, ESV). And we hear Paul’s charge: “act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:13–14, ESV). Strength and love, together.
The first Adam failed by standing by. Christ, the last Adam (1 Corinthians 15:45), did the opposite. He saw people who were helpless and laid down His life for them. That is the pattern of real manhood, and it is also our hope. None of us is saved by being better men. We are saved by grace through faith in the One who was the man we failed to be, and His Spirit makes us new.
So here’s the question this story puts to every one of us. Not “What did she agree to?” but “What kind of men are we forming, and who is doing the forming?”
Take a step this week:
- Dads: Prepare your sons for these kinds of situations. How can you give your sons the biblical morals that will guide them in college and beyond? Check out our partner Manhood Journey for resources.
- Brothers: Do you have men in your life who would call you out when you need it? Plan a get-together with a few brothers to talk it over, and send this article ahead of time to help spark the conversation.
- Church leaders: Is your church actually forming young men? The best tool is a 2 Timothy 2:2 approach: connect your young men with older mentors. Learn about Spiritual Fathers.
- Personal: What was your first reaction when you heard about this incident? What does that reaction tell you about your heart?
Adam was with her and stayed silent. Let’s be the kind of men who are with her and act.
