I heard (another) story this week of a young man who was brought up in the foster care system. Because of this experience, he had a vasectomy at 18, determined never to have children. Something went wrong, and recently he found out his girlfriend was pregnant. Their response? She had an abortion.
Much has been written about the scourge of fatherlessness in the current generation. Numbers vary, but everyone can agree that there are millions of men who had physically or spiritually absent fathers. The research shows the ramifications of this among boys: jaw-dropping statistics on academic achievement, involvement in the juvenile justice system, depression and suicide, and the list goes on.
Here’s another statistic that might make your jaw drop as well: only 31% of millennials are married. Or, to state the obvious, 69% of millennials are single. Of course, some are divorced, or cohabitating with partners. But the fact remains that more than 2/3 of these men are not married. And you know one way you can tell? Birth rates are dropping. Less and less men are actually becoming fathers.
This is not about marriage or fatherhood in a vacuum. We have a system breakdown of manhood itself. Genesis 1 & 2 give us a picture of Godly manhood and the calling of fatherhood:
- He gave Adam a job – tend the garden.
- He gave Adam a wife – it is not good for man to be alone.
- And he gave Adam a mandate – be fruitful and multiply.
Men—especially young men—are struggling in all three of these areas. Work is increasingly fragmented and isolating. Marriage is no longer the norm or for many a preferred life. And men are actively seeking to avoid becoming fathers. It really shouldn’t surprise us.
How will we, as Christian men, respond to this crisis of meaning and purpose? We, the mature men of the faith, must step up and engage with young men who are, as I heard one young man say recently, “drifting in a sea of lies, desperately seeking a buoy of truth.” We must offer a safe place for a younger man to share his fears and failures. We must be a physically present source of integrity, kindness, and compassion.
We can turn the tide. One man at a time. One coffee at a time. One conversation at a time.
So let’s go!
With you in the Great Adventure,
Brett Clemmer, Man in the Mirror
Postscript: Ryan Reeves and I are doing a series on Proverbs in The New Man in the Mirror Bible Study podcast. Proverbs urges young men to seek wisdom and understanding. These short 8-10 minute episodes would be a great place to start with a young man who wants Biblical wisdom. Go to maninthemirror.org/podcasts to find this easy (and free) tool to use with a young man you know.
