If we’re honest, brothers, many of us have spent more time strategizing our fantasy football drafts than thinking about how to encourage our wives in their faith. We desire to be spiritual leaders in our homes, but when it comes to actually walking that walk, we often feel unqualified or unsure of where to start. The good news is that God hasn’t called us to have all the answers. He has simply called us to be faithful.
Ephesians 5:25 tells us, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” He is our model. Jesus didn’t lead by issuing commands from a distance; He led by serving, sacrificing, and walking closely with His people. Likewise, supporting our wives’ spiritual growth isn’t about taking charge in a domineering way, but about walking alongside them, pointing them to Christ through our words and actions, and encouraging them in their walk with the Lord.
Pour From a Full Cup
First, let’s talk about our own spiritual health. We can’t lead where we’re not willing to go. If we’re not spending time in the Word, praying, and seeking God’s guidance, it will be tough to encourage our wives to do the same. Just as a man can’t pour water from an empty cup, he can’t spiritually nourish his wife if he’s running dry himself. He must first be filled with God’s truth, wisdom, and grace so that he can lead and support his wife from a place of strength rather than emptiness. When we pursue God daily, we naturally create an environment where our wives feel encouraged to do the same.
Bring Her Cares Before the Lord
One of the most powerful ways to support our wives spiritually is through prayer. And not just the “bless this food” kind of prayer, but deep, intentional prayer. Pray for her daily—her walk with the Lord, her struggles, her dreams. Even better, pray with her. For some of us, praying out loud together might feel awkward at first, but pushing through that discomfort builds intimacy like you wouldn’t believe. When she hears us bringing her needs before God, it reassures her that we’re invested in her spiritual well-being, a true partner in faith who loves her and wants the best for her.
Grow Together in Understanding
We also need to make space for meaningful conversations about faith. Ask her what God is teaching her. Share what you’re learning. Be open about your struggles and victories. Too often, we settle for surface-level communication about work, kids, and schedules while neglecting the deeper spiritual connection that makes a marriage thrive.
Encouraging her involvement in Bible study, women’s ministry, or mentorship can be a great way to support her spiritual growth. But that doesn’t mean we “hand her off” to other women for encouragement and call it a day. We should be intentional about growing together. Studying Scripture as a couple, reading Christian books together, or just discussing the Sunday sermon can strengthen your spiritual connection.
Lead By Example
Be devoted in your service and worship. When our wives see us worshiping wholeheartedly, serving in the church, and living out our faith, it reinforces the importance of a Christ-centered life. Our actions often speak louder than words. If we want our wives to grow in faith, we need to model what that looks like.
Let’s also be careful to offer encouragement, not criticism. If we notice our wives struggling spiritually, the worst thing we can do is berate them like an angry coach after a lost game, pointing out flaws and issuing commands. Instead, we should be their biggest cheerleaders, guiding them back to God with grace and love. Colossians 3:19 warns, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” A supportive word at the right moment can make all the difference. Like you, your wife sometimes falls down spiritually. Like you, she needs grace and encouragement to get back on the right path.
Supporting our wives’ spiritual growth is not a burden but a privilege. It starts with loving our wives the way Christ loves us—patiently, sacrificially, and consistently. None of us will do this perfectly, but when we commit to leading well, we create a marriage that fully honors God while being a source of strength and joy for us both as we walk in the Spirit together.
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If you’re looking for more guidance on living out biblical manhood and strengthening your marriage, check out the resources available at the Man in the Mirror website. There, you’ll find tools, encouragement, and a brotherhood of men walking this journey together.
