Because I work with men as my vocation, I often receive an email or phone call from men when they’ve hit a low point. After listening, the first thing I always ask is, “Do you have a best friend, or are you part of a small group?”
In 100 percent of the cases, the answer is some derivation of, “No, why do you ask?” Often men will add, “I used to meet with a guy, but we stopped,” or “I used to be part of a small group, but I haven’t been going for a while.”
Usually I can help men with the issue at hand, but then I urge them, “What’s really going to help you long-term is to find a friend or two, or join a small group, and live life together with a few brothers with whom you can process what comes your way.”
As the Bible says, “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). And almost everyone knows the main strategy of a lion is to separate his prey form the herd.
A man is never more vulnerable than when he doesn’t have a friend or two with whom he is doing life together and, vice versa, never stronger than when he does.
Patrick Morley
I don’t believe “join a small group” is enough. Been in numerous small groups in over 30 years as a Christian. But the real key is “find a friend or two.” Men already have their plates full and have no interest in finding a new friend. I am sad, and waiting for the New Earth.