At Man in the Mirror, our mission is to assist men in becoming what God calls them to be. In particular, our mission is to support men as they face the challenges that arise in leading their families in a Christ-centered direction. These challenges often relate to how to navigate issues related to their marriages and careers, but nothing quite tests the self-image and faculties of a God-fearing man as much as fatherhood.
If you are a father, you know that few events have the power to shake a Christian man down to his core like the moment you first hold your child in your arms. After nine months of preparation —when, let’s face it, your wife did most of the suffering—you finally look down into the trusting, vulnerable eyes of your little son or daughter and realize with a sudden onslaught of emotion that nothing could have truly prepared you for this experience.
In the days and weeks ahead, tangled up in the many moments of joy and wonder, you will also experience some moments of doubt: Are you up to the challenge? Will you be able to provide all they need? Do you have what it takes to combat the influence of the world on your child? Will you live up to your ideals of fatherhood?
Unlike anything else in life, fatherhood brings into stark focus for a man what responsibility truly means. Who your child becomes will depend in large part on the choices you make, the words you say, the things you do, and the example you set. It is time to live up to who God created you to be.
Now, let me ask you, did you have someone to walk through those doubts, fears, and experiences with you? Do you wish you had?
Mentors for New Fathers are a Cultural Need
Every man who becomes a father experiences these moments of self-doubt and reflection. However, they should take comfort from the fact that they know others who have already walked in their shoes. They are part of a continuous stream of men who have somehow (!) managed to raise their children to be good men and women. But not all men have had the benefit of seeing strong, faithful fatherhood modeled by their own fathers. How can men learn what they don’t know?
When a young man becomes a father for the first time (or even the second, or third, or fourth, . . . ) many of the older fathers in your church can’t help but look at them with a twinge of nostalgia, remembering those first magical years of their children’s lives. These experienced fathers are a valuable resource for young fathers; however, it is not always easy for young fathers to draw on that resource unless your church intentionally creates a network designed specifically to provide the support that many young men need when raising a family.
As much as they may love their role as a father, many men cannot always lean on their own experiences to navigate the challenges they face. The statistics are discouraging: 21% of children grow up without a father in their home, and over one-third of all marriages end in divorce. These numbers tell us that broken homes are not just an occurrence on the fringes of society. Broken homes and fatherless families have become mainstream.
An ill-equipped young father’s efforts to balance work, family, and spiritual growth can be overwhelming. Without a supportive network of family or friends walking his same path, his fatherhood journey can feel isolating. In your church community, you have a profound opportunity to come alongside these men, providing mentorship, fellowship, and resources to shape them, encourage them, and help them thrive. Here are some practical steps you can take to build a godly network of support for young fathers in your church.
Some Ideas to Get You Started
In Titus 2:2, older men are encouraged to be “sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.” In discussing the duties of parents to raise children, this passage provides a helpful blueprint for intergenerational mentorship within the church. The listed qualities can make older fathers ideal mentors for younger fathers. Fathers who have already weathered the trials of bringing up older teens and young adults can share the lessons they’ve learned from their successes and failures over the years. These important life-lessons are treasures, but treasures that should be shared, not hoarded.
By identifying seasoned fathers in your congregation who exemplify Biblical manhood, you can begin to put together a group of men who are willing to mentor younger dads. The fact is, many men relish this idea. They have gathered so much wisdom and insight over the years, and they are often eager to share these lessons with others who will listen, knowing that their experiences can spare other fathers some of the heartache or frustration that they may have gone through.
Encourage these men to invest in the lives of younger men in your church who need support and mentorship. Man in the Mirror can provide resources that will help them craft a program template that has been proven to work. Here are some basic ideas that can help you structure your support network.
- Gather Young Dads Together for Mutual Support: Peer groups provide young fathers with a platform to share their experiences, challenges, and successes. Peer-based discussion and support groups foster a sense of community and accountability essential for spiritual and personal growth. Consider hosting a “young dad’s night out” event where you provide some fun and fellowship, along with some intentional time for guys to share their struggles and questions with each other.
- Organize Family-Friendly Activities: Plan activities that allow young fathers to connect with each other and involve their families, such as family picnics, camping trips, or service projects. Such events strengthen the bond between fathers and their children while fostering a supportive church community.
- Offer Regular Classes and Workshops: Host classes and workshops that focus on Biblical principles of fatherhood. Bring in guest speakers or use video resources from reputable Christian organizations like Man in the Mirror.
- Create a Resource Library: Establish a library of books, DVDs, and online resources that young fathers can access. This library should include materials on parenting, marriage, and personal spiritual development. Encourage fathers to make use of these resources and consider forming study groups to discuss them together.
- Spiritual Fathers: Perhaps the most helpful thing you can do, however, is to intentionally connect younger dads with older men who can walk alongside them as Spiritual Fathers. Just as their young sons and daughters need fathers to look up to, every young dad needs a Spiritual Father who can guide him through the difficulties and triumphs of fathering a child to know Christ and achieve their potential.
Man in the Mirror Can Help
Creating a supportive network for young fathers in your church is an investment in the future of your congregation and the broader community. Your church can play a critical role in empowering young fathers to lead their families with confidence and faith. Building strong Christ-centered families to populate your congregation and your community will yield fruit a hundredfold in creating a flourishing and productive society in your community and beyond.
To get you started, explore our resources and support on the Man In the Mirror website. Our Area Directors can help your church take an intentional approach to helping young dads–whether it’s a men’s event, book study, or establishing a Spiritual Fathers initiative. If you’re looking to grow personally or mentor others, Man In the Mirror is here to help all men take the next step in authentically living out their faith in every aspect of their lives, from young adulthood through the years of parenting and beyond. Contact us to learn more about how you can deepen your journey as a follower of Christ.