We’re about to step on some toes. The battle to remain sexually pure—not just in deed, but in our thoughts and hearts—is one that has felled many Christian men who once stood tall in the Lord. You don’t have to think very hard to name former warriors for Christ whose private sins in the area of sexuality became public stains on their ministries and legacies.
Those of us less well-known in the church aren’t immune, either. Far from it. A Barna study revealed that at least 75% of Christian men admit to consuming pornography regularly. Even more concerning is the revelation that well over half of those men are okay with it; their conscience is seared and they’ve abandoned God’s call to live lives of purity completely! Not only that, but the rate of marital infidelity among Christian husbands does not significantly differ from that in the general public. We’re falling like dominoes.
Fighting for purity in today’s world feels like trying to hold back a tidal wave with a beach towel. Sexual objectification is in the air we breathe and the water we swim in. Everywhere we turn—on our phones, at the gym, even in line at the grocery store—our culture is selling sex. It’s relentless. And if we’re honest, it’s exhausting.
But we are not passive victims of our environment. We’re called to be warriors, not just for our own sake, but for our wives, our children, our churches, and our walk with God. The battle for purity isn’t just about saying no to lust; it’s about saying yes to something far greater: a life fully devoted to Christ, running our race free from the “sin that so easily entangles” (Hebrews 12:1).
What Purity Really Means
Some of us grew up in the thick of “purity culture.” Maybe you were handed a ring, heard one too many youth group analogies about chewed gum or crumpled roses, and were told that if you just stayed physically pure until marriage, you’d be golden. The problem? Purity was treated like a finish line rather than a lifestyle.
Biblical purity isn’t just about what you don’t do. It’s about who you are. It’s about integrity, self-control, and a heart aligned with God. Jesus raised the bar in Matthew 5:28 when He said, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” That cuts deep. Purity begins in the mind, long before it shows up in our actions.
It’s not enough to avoid the obvious traps. We’ve got to deal with what’s happening inside us. Our thoughts, our desires, our motivations. That’s where the real war is being fought.
The Fight Starts With the Heart
We live in a culture that says, “Follow your heart.” But if we do that without checking it against God’s Word, we’ll end up way off course. The truth is, we need new hearts, hearts shaped by Scripture, prayer, and time in God’s presence. Psalm 119:9 asks, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.” That’s a call to arms.
We don’t just need accountability software. We need accountability brothers. We don’t just need to block websites; we need to build spiritual habits that keep our eyes and hearts fixed on Christ. Purity is a team sport, not a solo mission. While it’s true that men who call themselves Christians are unfaithful to their wives at roughly the same frequency as unbelievers, one factor does correlate to lower infidelity rates: consistent church attendance. Men who are in regular fellowship with other Christian men have stronger armor against sexual sin than those who try to go it alone.
Married or Single—This Battle Is Yours
Some guys think purity is just for the single crowd, as if once you get married the struggle vanishes. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Lust doesn’t check your ring finger before it tempts you. Purity is just as critical in marriage as it is in singleness. In both seasons, it’s about faithfulness—to God first, then to your wife, or to the future wife you’re praying for.
If you’re married, purity looks like loving your wife with your whole heart and guarding your marriage fiercely. Pray over it, and set boundaries around it to fend off any threat that might try to destroy it. If you’re single, purity is about honoring God with your body and your thoughts, even when the world tells you you’re missing out.
What We Feed Grows
The more we feed our flesh, the more it wants. And the more we starve our spirit, the weaker we become in the struggle to resist sin. But here’s the good news: the opposite is also true. When we feast on God’s Word, when we pursue holiness, when we confess our sins and let others walk with us, we grow stronger, day by day, battle by battle.
This fight isn’t about perfection. It’s about direction. We will stumble. But we get back up. We press forward. We run hard after Jesus even though it’s not easy, because it’s worth it. Every time we say no to temptation, we say yes to a greater joy. Every time we turn our eyes from lust, we turn them toward life.
You’re Not Alone
Maybe you’re reading this and you feel beat up. Maybe you’ve failed more times than you can count. You’re not disqualified. You’re not a lost cause. You’re a man in the middle of the fight, and that’s exactly where God meets us.
So don’t isolate yourself. Don’t hide. Bring your struggle into the light. Confess. Pray. “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to man” (I Corinthians 10:13). You’re not the only one in this fight. Get with other brothers who won’t just pat you on the back but will push you toward Jesus. The enemy wants to keep you stuck in shame. But Jesus wants to set you free.
The Call to More
Purity isn’t the ceiling of Christian manhood; it’s the floor. It’s the foundation. From there, we build lives of honor, service, leadership, and love. The kind of lives that leave a legacy.
Let’s fight together, brothers. Let’s raise the standard. Let’s stop letting the culture define our masculinity and invite God to shape us into men of integrity. This world doesn’t need more tough guys. It needs more godly men. Men who don’t just fight against temptation, but for holiness, truth, and love.
Let’s be the salt and light that God put us here to be.
***
Need support in your fight for purity? At Man in the Mirror, we’re here to walk alongside you. Explore resources, Bible studies, and opportunities to connect with other men who are choosing a better path. Visit maninthemirror.org to take your next step.
